The holidays are a time of joy, connection, and celebration—but they can also bring stress, especially when it comes to being around family. While we love our families deeply and cherish the moments we share, they often have a unique ability to bring up old emotions, unresolved feelings, or even insecurities. Between judgments about food intake, comments on body image, and well-meaning yet unsolicited advice, the holiday table can feel more like a minefield than a gathering place.
Preparing your mental "train" before heading into the season can help you feel more grounded and empowered, no matter what challenges come your way.
Why the Holidays Can Feel Overwhelming
For many, family gatherings bring up deeply rooted patterns and emotions. Discussions that highlight perceived flaws or choices—like your eating habits, weight, or lifestyle—can trigger feelings of inadequacy or frustration. Even when comments come from a place of love or concern, they can leave us feeling judged or misunderstood.
Our families often know us the longest and, in many ways, the most intimately. This closeness, while beautiful, can also make us vulnerable to old narratives or emotional wounds. Research in psychology confirms that repeated exposure to judgment or criticism can lead to stress responses, heightened self-doubt, and even long-term effects on self-esteem.
However, you don’t have to let these moments derail your emotional wellbeing. By reframing your mindset and setting intentional boundaries, you can shift from reactive to resilient. This is where affirmations and journaling come in as invaluable tools.
How Affirmations Can Help During the Holidays
Affirmations are positive, present-tense statements designed to challenge and override negative thoughts. They work by rewiring the brain through repetition and intention, helping you focus on self-worth and confidence.
Examples of Affirmations for Holiday Stress:
- "I love my family, and I can love them while protecting my emotional wellbeing."
- "I am in control of how I respond to others; their opinions do not define me."
- "I nourish my body in ways that feel right for me, regardless of others' judgments."
- "I am worthy of love and respect just as I am."
Research published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology highlights how affirmations can reduce stress and increase emotional resilience, even in high-pressure situations. Using affirmations before and during family interactions can serve as a mental buffer, reminding you of your intrinsic value and helping you respond calmly.
Journaling as a Pre-Holiday Reset
Journaling provides a safe space to unpack emotions, set intentions, and build emotional resilience. Writing about potential challenges before the holidays allows you to process fears or anxieties and create actionable plans for managing triggers.
Journaling Prompts for Holiday Preparation:
- What are my biggest stressors when it comes to family gatherings, and why?
- How can I love and appreciate my family while maintaining my boundaries?
- What boundaries can I set to protect my emotional and physical wellbeing?
- How do I want to feel during and after the holiday season, and what steps will help me achieve that?
- Write a letter to yourself about why your relationship with food and your body is valid and deserves respect.
According to a study in the Journal of Positive Psychology, expressive writing can decrease anxiety, improve self-awareness, and foster a greater sense of control in stressful situations.
Building Your Mental "Train"
The metaphor of a "mental train" is a powerful way to conceptualize holiday preparedness. Like a train, your mental state requires intentional preparation to stay on track. Affirmations serve as the fuel, keeping you powered by positive self-talk, while journaling acts as the conductor, guiding your emotional journey with clarity and purpose.
By spending even a few minutes each day leading up to the holidays practicing affirmations and journaling, you can create a mindset rooted in self-compassion and resilience.
Navigating Conversations at the Table
Armed with affirmations and insights from journaling, you can approach family gatherings with confidence. When confronted with a triggering comment, take a deep breath and remember: you have the tools to respond thoughtfully.
Tips for Responding to Judgment or Criticism:
- Use a simple boundary-setting phrase like, "I appreciate your concern, but I’m happy with my choices."
- Redirect the conversation: "I’d love to hear about what’s been going well for you this year."
- Exit gracefully if needed: "Excuse me, I need to step away for a moment."
Final Thoughts
The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. By prioritizing your mental wellbeing through affirmations and journaling, you can reclaim your sense of peace and confidence amidst the chaos.
Loving your family and acknowledging their impact on you are not mutually exclusive. You can hold space for both—the love and the challenges—and still prioritize your emotional health.
If you’re new to these practices, start small—try writing one affirmation or journaling for five minutes a day. Over time, these simple steps can create profound shifts in how you navigate the holiday season and beyond.