For so much of my life, if something felt too hard, it became my reason to stop. I told myself I wasn’t capable, didn’t know how to juggle it, or just wasn’t made to do it all. That mindset became a safety net, keeping me stuck in my comfort zone. But then I’d scroll through social media and feel beaten down, seeing others accomplish things I told myself I couldn’t do. It seemed so easy for them—effortless, even. Over time, I realized that this perception was all wrong. These things weren’t easy for them either. Social media is a facade, a highlight reel that hides the struggle. The truth is, hard things are hard for everyone, and that’s okay.
Shifting the Mindset
The first step in embracing the hard things is surprisingly simple, yet deeply profound: acknowledge that they’re hard, period. Instead of resisting the difficulty, I began to accept it. Saying, "Yes, this is hard, it is meant to be hard and that's okay," became a mantra for me. The shift wasn’t about making the hard things easy; it was about making peace with their difficulty.
Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on the growth mindset highlights this concept beautifully. In her studies, individuals who view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles are more likely to persevere and succeed. Her work reminds us that our mindset shapes our outcomes. When we believe we can do hard things, we unlock the resilience needed to actually do them.
Choosing Your Hard
One of the most powerful realizations I had was this: life is hard no matter what path you take. Continuing to live a life that feels unfulfilling, stagnant, or unhappy is its own kind of hard. It’s exhausting to wake up every day feeling stuck or disheartened. But stepping onto the path of growth, even though it’s challenging, leads to something meaningful.
James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, emphasizes the importance of aligning your actions with your values. He explains that every decision you make, whether it’s easy or hard in the moment, is a vote for the person you want to become. So, which "hard" will you choose—the hard that leads to fulfillment, or the hard that keeps you unhappy?
The Science of Overcoming Challenges
Research from the American Psychological Association shows that resilience—the ability to adapt well to adversity, trauma, or stress—can be cultivated through practice and mindset shifts. Key factors that build resilience include:
- Building Connections: Having supportive relationships can help you navigate challenges.
- Fostering Wellness: Physical activity, mindfulness, and self-care can strengthen your ability to handle stress.
- Setting Goals: Breaking big challenges into smaller, manageable steps creates a sense of accomplishment and momentum.
These tools have been instrumental in my journey. Each time I lean into the hard things, I remind myself that resilience isn’t about avoiding struggle; it’s about growing stronger through it.
Embracing the Process
As I write this, I reflect on the hard things I’ve faced recently—the moments I wanted to quit, the days when I doubted my abilities. What got me through wasn’t making the hard things easier but accepting them as part of the process. The hardest days were also the most rewarding because they showed me what I’m capable of.
The mindset shift is simple but powerful: Hard things are not impossible. They’re just hard. And doing them anyway is what creates the life you truly want.
Moving Forward
If you’re feeling stuck, ask yourself this: which hard will you choose? Will you stay in the discomfort of unhappiness, or will you embrace the challenge of growth? The choice is yours, and while neither path is easy, one leads to fulfillment, joy, and self-discovery.
Start small. Pick one hard thing today and face it head-on. Whether it’s a tough conversation, a daunting task, or a new habit you’ve been avoiding, remind yourself: I can do hard things. And when you do, you’ll discover just how strong you really are.
As we step into 2025, let’s make this the year we lean into the challenges that matter. Set bold goals, face the hard things, and remind yourself daily that growth is worth the effort.
Explore More:
- The Growth Mindset by Carol Dweck
- Resilience Building Strategies by the APA
- James Clear’s Atomic Habits
Let’s choose the hard that matters. Let’s embrace the growth. Let’s remind ourselves daily: I can do hard things.
